When You Just Want To Go Home

Sometimes I just want to go home. Not Smyrna, but Heaven.

No, I'm not suicidal. Life is just hard sometimes and it is evident everywhere that this world is not supposed to be.

A friend's baby is born early and has been hospitalized 3 times in 3 months, fighting for her life.

One of my doctors has a mass and has to have emergency surgery.

People are shooting each other regularly for no good reason.

Friends my age are dying in the most unexpected ways.

Satan is constantly attacking and I just feel drained.

I could name so many other things, but you get the idea. Life is overwhelming. Sin and the effects of the fall abound and it seems as if nothing will ever get better. Those are the times I stare into the sky and look for any hint that Jesus may be on His way back.

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will [a]dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And He said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.”" ~Revelation 21:1-5

See, Jesus has told us He is coming back. He will make everything new. No more death. No more suffering. No more striving to figure out what to think, do, say. Everything will be perfect as it was intended to be. How my soul longs for that. How I want to be in God's presence worshiping perfectly as He created me to do. How I want things to be perfect.

I recognize some of this is selfish in motivation, but the more I get to know God the more I just want to be with Him. I want to be in a place that really worships Him as Lord over all. I want to live the way He intends.

I'm so thankful that Jesus has given me a way to have this and that one day all of this will be true. I will be with God and worshiping Him perfectly. I will be in a place that worships Him. I will live perfectly as He intends.

Sometimes I really want to go home. Until then, I press on. Many days are hard. My heart grieves the loss of life, of health, of sleep, of obedience. I sometimes seek to control it. But God reminds me even in those heart breaking moments, He is in control and by His grace I will overcome and see this great day!

"Then He said to me, “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost. He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son." ~Revelation 21:6-7