Stay Connected and Invest

With Valentine's day approaching, there is a lot about love out there and making the day special. I know some people are really into the holiday so I would love to share a little about connecting and investing in your marriage continually, not just one day a year.

Marriage is a commitment, and we are to be committed to both God and each other. Marriage is a priority 365 days a year, not just one!

We must pay attention to each other: listen to your spouse's needs, dreams, desires. Study them and seek to give them attention whenever possible.

Give your spouse your approval. I don't mean you have to approve of everything they do. They are sinners as are you and both of you will do things that need to be worked on. What I do mean is to compliment them, tell them when they have done something well, speak fondly of them both in and out of the presence and go out of your way to find something good to speak about.

Show gratitude for what they do. Be specific when you say thank you

Encourage them! I have heard several times recently that to give someone encouragement is to give them courage. Give them your confidence, letting them know you believe in them to do the right thing. Give them the assurance of your prayers. Let them know you are on their team.

Give affection. This is not sexual, simply a way to connect with touches, glances, pet names, etc. Be sure to show affection in front of their kids.

Physical Intimacy is also very important. It is something that only you can give your spouse. Give freely!

Invest in your marriage daily. Know your spouse and what they need. Pray for your spouse and be willing to give of yourself.

True Peace: The Trinity Lives in Us

Our sermon from last Sunday came from John 14:18-27. We talked about a lot, particularly focusing out our obedience being linked to our love for God. If we love Jesus then we will obey His commands.

But apart from Christ we cannot obey His commands. When we receive Christ as our Savior we receive the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, to help and guide us with the presence of God and by teaching us Truth. What I find the most amazing is that when we come to faith, we don't just invite Jesus into our hearts or only receive the Holy Spirit. We get the God head, Father, Son and Holy Spirit living inside of us.

"Jesus replied, 'If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him... But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My Name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.'" John 14:23, 26

Jesus said it would be all of them living in us. God makes His home in His people! How amazing is that! And because of that we can live in peace, unafraid and unashamed and love each other the way God through Christ has loved us.

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

An Inheritance of Nations

"Our call to war, to love the captive soul,
But to rage against the captor;
And with the sword that makes the wounded whole
We will fight with faith and valor.
When faced with trials on ev'ry side,
We know the outcome is secure,
And Christ will have the prize for which He died—
An inheritance of nations." 

from O Church Arise by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend

Jesus died for people from every tribe, tongue and nation. He has people from every corner of the Earth. But many of them have not yet heard the Good News that Christ has died for their sins so that they can be reconciled to God and bring Him glory forever.

This is why we meet to pray. This is why people must go. This is why we give our resources. Missions is part of the whole church, not just for some. Our parts may look different, but God has called all of His people to be part of His call to the lost in all nations. 

Pray for God's Word to go forward. Pray for hearts to be soft and receptive. Pray for the Holy Spirit to prepare His people to accept the grace He alone gives. Pray for Christ's inheritance of nations.

A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family

This book by Mary Ostyn was recommended to me by my great friend, Ashley Wells. This mother of 10 has very practical and straight forward advice for helping you raise a large family. It is a quick and easy read, which is great when you do have a lot of kids. Ostyn shares from her personal experience and occasionally throughout she has stories from others with larger families. It's very down to earth.

My favorite section is on treating your children as individuals and not a unit. Each child is unique and has their own personality and interests. This is something I have been learning a lot about this past year and was thankful to read about how to figure out your children as they grow.

The thing I wish there had been more info on was practical recipes to save money on groceries. This is something I have been trying to figure out so it would have been nice, but not something everyone may need. Maybe a good alternative would be a resource list that is accessible online.

Overall I would recommend this book, and give it 4 out of 5 stars.

Communication is Key

I'm currently taking a marriage and family class through the SWI program at the seminary, so I thought during the month of February I'd share some of what I'm learning on Mondays.

This past week we talked about communication. This is something that may seem like it is overemphasized at times, but it is so important to have good communication in marriage. I am still learning so much in this!

Men and women are different and they communicate in different ways. No matter what your communications style is, it is likely to differ from your spouse. One big thing that I have learned recently is more about the differences in how men and women's brains are designed. Men are generally single minded and do only one thing at a time. When they switch gears they have to turn off what they were doing and turn on to the new thing. Women's brains have 4x as many brain cells connecting the left and right hemispheres, which allow us to do more than one thing at a time and take it all in. This effects everything including how I communicate.

Some ways to handle these differences are:

• Not calling things good or bad that are simply different ways of doing things
• Remembering you have a clear marital mission
• Use differences to your advantage
• Reap the benefits of compromise
• Get a balanced perspective (let the little things go)
• Give each other a hand (grant permission for your spouse to help you when you need to make changes)

It is more important to communicate well than to win an argument. So when your having a disagreement how can you handle it well? 

• Freely forgive
• Discuss the conflict as soon as possible
• State exactly what is bothering you
• Stick to the subject at hand
• If your mate says you do, then it just may be true 
• Avoid generalizing
• Avoid personal insults and character assassination
• Confront the truth, affirm with love
• Listen to learn
• Confront to heal, not to win

To communicate well we need to listen and be attentive. Practice active listening by giving your spouse your undivided attention, restating key elements, let them finish their own sentences, and express your feelings. 

Remember you are a unit, the two become one flesh. When we work together we seek the interest of the whole, not just for the individual. May God give you wisdom and the desire to communicate well. 

Keep Calm and Trust God

" 'Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, Trust also in Me. In My Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with Me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.'

Thomas said to Him, "Lord, we don't know where You are going, so how can we know the way?'

Jesus answered, "I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.'"

John 14:1-6

Because of Jesus we have no reason to fear. God has better for us than to live a life of fear. Jesus promises us that He will prepare a place for His people. How does He prepare it? Jesus prepared a place in heaven for His people by living a perfect life and dying the death we deserved on the cross to cover our sin and rising from the dead to conquer death for us. For those in Christ, eternal life is now.

What is the path to heaven? Jesus! He is the only way to God and heaven. Jesus has reconciled us with our perfect holy God so that we can be united with Him in heaven. 

I found it interesting Pastor Daniel pointed out that Heaven is dangerous because it is filled with God's glory. As sinners we cannot be near God's glory. But because of Jesus death on the cross, He can give us safe passage into God's presence and we do not need to be afraid. 

I pray that I will continue to reflect on these Truths and Trust God more everyday!

Surprise Blessings

I just have to take a moment and thank God for using Jesse, a manager at Panera, who blessed me today. We have been attempting to reign in our eating out budget, I planned on only getting something to drink. When I gave him my card I had a coupon for $1 off a breakfast sandwich, but did not have the money to get both a drink and the sandwich. The coupon would expire before I would be back, so I debated over whether to get the drink or the sandwich, but knew I needed something to drink. I expressed the dilemma and he said, "no problem, I'll cover the difference." I seriously had to check with him 3 times to make sure I understood him correctly. He only charged me for a drink! I was shocked and so blessed. I love their breakfast sandwiches and was so thankful to have one at no extra cost. God is so good and uses little things to bless us.