Our Eight-Year-Old Gabriel

Today we celebrate eight years of having Gabriel in our arms. It is crazy that it has been that long and yet it's like he's always been in our family. 

Gabriel adds so much life to our home. His giant smile, tremendous laugh and high energy fills our home with amazing joy! This precious boy loves God, loves the Bible, loves life. He seeks to know God better, loves to memorize Scripture and explore the world God created. He enjoys gathering with the church and singing and drumming. God has filled him with such life!

Gabriel is all about art, science and animals. He draws anything and everything, but he especially loves to draw animals or made up creatures. He will sit and draw for hours coming up with all kinds of pictures or working through a drawing book and drawing everything in it. He is extremely creative. He loves learning about animals and nature. At this point, Gabriel wants to be a nurse like Daddy and so he has starting reading anatomy books and learning the human body functions on his own. He so enjoys reading and learning and putting things together.

Gabriel loves to learn hands on. He builds, he does puzzles, he digs up kudzu and cuts up bushes. He bakes with Lillian and loves to cook. Math blocks are a favorite building toy and he quickly picks up math concepts using them. It is so fun to watch him learn, explore and grow.

Gabriel is also a huge helper. He sees what needs to be done and does it. He is industrious and volunteers to help with all kinds of projects. He is eager to do something helpful. 

We are so grateful for this precious boy. Gabriel means mighty man of God, and we see God making Gabriel into a mighty man of God. It is incredible to think that when he was born, we thought we knew what his name would be. But one look at him and we knew that name wasn't right. God completely named this boy and it is a blessing to see God bringing to fruition the name He gave to us for Gabriel after he was born.

Father, we are so grateful that You have given Gabriel to us to raise for You! Thank You that You are making him mighty in You. Please continue to speak to Gabriel, growing him in grace and making him more like Jesus. Hide Your Words in his heart that He may not sin against You. Teach Him to trust You and Your Word fully as he seeks to be who You created him to be. We pray it all in Jesus Name, Amen!

Our Three-Year-Old Isaac

 Three years have come and gone since God's amazing surprise blessing was born to our family. Isaac's pregnancy was my "shortest" ever and he was born after a full day of labor, struggling to breathe and ended up spending ten days in the NICU. But our Isaac is a fighter and is still a fighter to this day. 

He is a fun and strong personality that brings smiles and sighs as he goes after what he wants with all of his might. Isaac is full of laughter, as his name means, singing, playing games, experiencing all life has to offer. He loves to climb and explore all of he world around him. He wants to know how everything works and can be a bit destructive when this curiosity is not 100% supervised. But it's such a blessing that he loves to learn and wants to learn it all. 

Isaac also loves to help with setting the table, taking care of Esther and cleaning chairs and trays. He has also become quite adept at cleaning his hands and face with a rag. Brushing and flossing is an automatic for him as he loves to have clean teeth. He completely believes he is as old as the big boys and can do everything they do. He's definitely getting there!

Recently, Isaac has taken to learning phonics and numbers as well as perfecting his colors, shapes, letters, and animals and their sounds. One of his favorite games is guess what animal I am! And he's quite diverse in acting out those animals. Such a fun time! He's also into books, especially the "poopy book" that teaches about using the toilet and what poop is. (Very much a boy!) He beginning to enjoy singing and asks to sing many things from "Jesus Loves Me" to silly songs from movies. And he loves to talk! He will talk about almost anything that he knows about and loves to ask questions. It's such a blessing watching him learn.

Isaac also loves his family. He loves being a big brother and taking care of the younger two, especially baby Esther. He makes sure to give her kisses before bed every night and asks to hold her. He plays with James and Timothy and is learning to clean his room and make his bed with Lillian. He's growing so fast.

We're so grateful for this precious boy God has given to us and hope that his strong will is tuned to God's will so that Isaac is strong in Him!

Father, Thank You for Isaac and the joy and laughter he brings to your world. He is such a precious life and we are so blessed that you gave him to us. Thank you for his stamina and go getter attitude. Use it for Your Kingdom and Your glory. Make Isaac strong in You, filled to overflowing with Your Spirit. Please save Him by Your grace and give him a deep abiding faith in the power of the cross of Jesus, and let him life a resurrected life sold out for You! In Jesus Name I ask these things. Amen!

Our 9-Year-Old Reuben

Nine years ago, our sweet Reuben was our first child born after moving to Louisville. We were so blessed to welcome our third child into our family a year after our move. 

From the beginning, Reuben has been an easy going, laid back boy. Generally he is very calm and just goes with the flow. He loves quiet and is sensitive, caring and gentle. Already, I see God preparing Reuben to be an amazing husband and father. He loves babies and cares so well for his young siblings. Every night after dinner he asks to hold Esther and he helps out by taking care of Malachi while she's eating. 

Reuben loves to learn. Currently he is reading whatever chapter books he can get his hands on: Notebook of Doom series, Magic Tree House series, The Hobbit. He has been writing and drawing pictures about the books he reads just because he wants to. He also loves non-fiction. Science is his favorite subject currently and loves to study nature. He is loving his mammals study. Math and Latin are also fun for him. 

Drawing and building are two things Reuben excels at that he also enjoys doing. For every section we've studied in Revelation he has drawn a picture to match and many are amazingly accurate to what we read. His Lego and magnet creations are also fantastic. He has such a good eye for detail. I'm excited to see how God uses these talents!

Reuben enjoys movies and the idea of being a hero. He has been working on a story about heroes that he plays with his siblings. He is so creative just like our Creator. He is always imagining and dreaming and putting himself into a story. Right now he talks about being a fire fighter and studies what they do. He has started to exercise to add to his natural strength to be ready for the hard work. Reuben is so strong and God is preparing him for strong work. He loves the big jobs that require lifting, carrying and pushing himself physically. I call him muscles when I need something done and he loves it! He loves to be told he has done something well.

Recently, Reuben has been growing in spiritual disciplines, especially Bible and prayer. I see so much of God's grace on him as he is seeking to understand what it means to be a Christian. He reads his Bible and prays to be able to obey. 

Father, continue to grow Reuben in the Truth of Your Word. Thank You for making him creative like You. Grow Reuben into the man you've created him to be and let him know Your amazing grace deeply. Make him Yours and give him understanding of who You are. Thank You for Reuben's precious life! In Jesus's Name. Amen

Introducing Together or Apart

Nearly seven years ago, I finished my first draft of my first book! This was such an amazing accomplishment as I had always wanted to write a book. 

Then next step, how to publish (This was what I had as my next goal in writing after finishing my manuscript.) Do I look to traditionally publish? Do I self-publish through Kindle? What about in between? There are so many options out there now, which is a huge blessing, but what to do?

After a lot of research and prayer, God brought me to Christian Faith Publishing. It is an in between option, self publishing, but the manuscript had to be approved by them and they would do basic editing, formatting, cover design and printing. They had the best option in the in between option I had seen and so I sent them my book. 

It was approved! And today I am a published author! I'm so excited to introduce my writing project to you! 

Together or Apart is now available for purchase on Amazon and Barnes & Noble! I would love for you to read my book, leave a review and share it with your friends. 

You can also visit my author website!

Together or Apart on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

I am so glad I gave this 5th book in the Harry Potter series another read. I read it the first time about 13 years ago after I watching the movie and I remember not liking it very much. However, this time around I absolutely loved it! Maybe it's knowing the whole story and seeing the nuances but I greatly appreciated this book and where it falls in the story line of the entire series is such a turning point that even though it's a more challenging read because of the darker themes it is completely worth the read.

Rowling is a master storyteller and completely understands the concept of show don't tell as she pulls you into the wizarding world. In this fifth book the characters also reach a new level of development as we see bravery vs cowardice, self-centeredness vs other centered, and reality vs fantasy. There is also a stark contrast between two branches on the "good" side that shows the necessity of seeking out the truth and not being afraid to question even if you may not want to hear the truth. (Parallels for the current state of things, anyone?)

This book also gives a much deeper look into the characters. I really like how you feel with the characters and also react to them. 

I would share plot but it you haven't read the other books or seen the movies, I don't want to ruin the story for you.

If you are a Harry Potter movie only person, I highly suggest reading this one as it answers so many questions left by the movie.

I absolutely give this book 5 stars

Reading Challenges:

This book is being used on the 2020 Reading Challenge from Tim Challies as a book with a person on the cover in the committed section.

Our Four-Year-Old Malachi

Today our sweet Malachi turns four years old. 

What a precious bundle of energy that is full of fun and laughter! This boy is so full of life and always on the go. Malachi loves to learn and be a big boy. He picks up on everything and pays attention to little details. He thinks he's as big as the "big boys" and wants to do everything they do. This is such a fun age where he is learning phonics, letters, numbers, harder shapes, puzzles and drawing. He loves to learn it all! He is very excited about having his own books this year for "school" and I'm sure will do amazing as he really does love to learn and do what the others are doing. 

Books are another favorite! His two current favorite books are Waldo and "oops" book where we practice seek and find and work on colors, clothing and dressing ourselves. He is a whiz at "Where's Waldo" and has found Waldo, the Wizard and the scroll on every page. He is such an observant boy and pays attention to detail. This week we also introduced "What is Poop?" and I think that's going to become a favorite also. 

Malachi is very into be a big boy right now, which is helpful as we have conversations about what it means to be a big boy. He loves to choose his clothes and dress himself and use the toilet when he's not too busy building or playing. Currently he's in the process of giving up his afternoon nap and wants to hang out in the big boys room to read or play. 

Building is another thing that Malachi enjoys. Mega Blocks are a current favorite, but he'll be moving to LEGOs soon and is very excited to build with anything he can. He also enjoys being outside and climbing. Malachi is almost big enough to climb the trees in our yard, but definitely big enough to climb the cars, including our big van and thinks this is quite an impressive feat! He also climbs the bunk beds, ladders, cribs and sofas. Whatever he can climb on he can. He is so full of energy!

Malachi loves to laugh. He enjoys jokes and singing funny songs. He likes funny movies and shows. In books he'll find funny pictures and laugh. If there is something funny in a situation, he will find it!

Recently, Malachi has started enjoying Bible study with the family getting his Bible and journal to look at and write in while we study Revelation together. He also enjoy evening catechism and is learning the basic answers to theology questions. In the last couple of months he has participated in family prayers which is such a blessing to see him grow in. 

While Malachi is clearly a sinner like the rest of us, we see God's grace in him as he learns and grows in the knowledge of the ways of God. Malachi means "my messenger" and how we pray that Malachi will me a messenger of the Gospel of Jesus Christ!

Father God, thank You so much for our precious Malachi. You have made him such a precocious and energetic boy who loves to learn and is growing in his love of learning about you everyday. I pray You will take that love that You have given him and grow it into a realization of who he is, who You are and how desperately he needs You to save him from himself! Please save Malachi by Your grace. Make him more like Jesus. Show him the amazing love you have poured out on Your people and let Malachi experience that amazing love. Thank You for how you're working in him and make Malachi wholly Yours! In Jesus Name. Amen!

Heidi by Johanna Spyri

After James read Heidi as part of his literature studies, he told me he wanted me to read it. When I asked why he told me he really liked it and thought I would like it too.

He was right!

I can't believe this classic was not required at any point during my schooling! This is a delightful classic that kept me reading and on my toes.

If you're not familiar with this story, it follows a girl named Heidi as she goes to her grandfather's in the mountains, to her becoming a girl's companion in Frankfurt and then back to the mountains. I want to replay it all, but if you're reading this and have never read Heidi, I don't want to spoil the delight of this story.

This book is easy to read, but also makes you think and challenges you. I love the simplicity of words and yet the beautiful imagery that takes you to this scenic place. I found myself frolicking in the fields, staring at big buildings, and climbing the side of a mountain. You can see it all and sit in the homes from modest cabins to grande mansions. And you feel. As Spyri describes what is happening with the characters you are right there with them, feeling what they feel, seeing what they see, wanting what they want for them. It's beautiful!

I think my favorite thing about this book is seeing the capability of young children. We meet Heidi at age five and she already sees so much, knows so much and can do so much. At this young age she's cleaning, making her bed, caring for goats and exploring the world around her. Today we so quickly dismiss young ones as if they are incapable of doing many things, but this book reminds us that so much is learned so early and that they want to learn. Heidi also shows us a great zeal for life that is contagious. I wanted to be there with her, exploring the hills and the city, enjoying all aspects of life.

I also appreciated the way the book showed the beauty of the simplicity of life. Throughout the story, I was consistently reminded of remembering what is important in life and to seek God in all things. The book is not specifically Christian, but the undercurrent of faith is present. I absolutely see the truth, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" resonating throughout the text.

I highly recommend this beautiful book to anyone. I look forward to reading this with all of my children in the future.

5 stars for this classic

Reading Challenges:
Back to the Classics Challenge 2020 This book is for my Classic by an Woman Author

In other challenges I'm using this as a Book Recommended by Someone Else in the 2020 Reading Challenge with Tim Challies
With The Modern Mrs Darcy 2020 Reading Challenge I'm using this as a Book in Translation

Year Three: The Return

July 16th has become a significant date for our family. In 2010 we moved to Louisville, following God's leading for Jim to attend Southern Seminary. Seven years later, July 16, 2017, we returned to Smyrna, following God back to our home church, Smyrna First Baptist, to be a part of what God was doing there as active members.

It's been three years since we have returned to Smyrna/Mableton, and this third year back has been a wonderful year. This year has been stabilizing. This entire year Jim has worked the same job with the same hours and schedule. We have lived in the same house. We have had a consistent schedule at home, allowing us to grow together and learn together in amazing ways. God has blessed us with a thriving church family where we serve with the missions team and have worshiped together. We have found our current family rhythm and it's a blessing.

It's rare that I find myself at a loss for words since I started this yearly updates our first year in Louisville, but I really don't have much to say other than the above. In some respects it is weird being "stable," as every 4-6 months there has been a major shift of some kind since we started our journey in Louisville ten years ago. And yet, it feels normal, for lack of a better word. We're not at all where we thought we would be when went made the leap of faith to move to Louisville, but we know we are exactly where God has called us to be. And that is what truly matters.

While at this exact moment, we are adjusting to being a family of 12 and all that goes along with children expressing themselves when their world is suddenly different, even in a good way, our life is still stable. We are thriving in this season, even in transition. Our children are doing well on the whole. They are delving into their creativity as well as helping around the house and loving on their new sister. Jim and I are learning to parent even more intentionally together and growing in our marriage. Our family vision is becoming stronger as we seek God as a family. Our children are seeking faith in Christ alone, desiring to follow Him in all areas of life and we're seeing tremendous growth, especially in the oldest four. It's been a year of great blessing and we are so grateful.

Even though it's not what we expected, we're so thankful to be where we are. God is moving. God is being glorified. We are growing in Him and seeking His Kingdom. And that is where our life is found.

Esther Elizabeth

It started as a normal morning. Jim got up and made breakfast. I woke after a wonderful weekend of fellowship, foot flex point massage and time in a pool to still no labor contractions. I had dreamed that I had the baby, but when I woke nothing new was happening. Since no contractions were there Jim called his floor and told him he needed to come in to work. No sense wasting a day off if the baby was not coming or here.

We ate breakfast as a family, had our Bible reading study time and did morning chores. During Bible time I found it hard to concentrate and all of the children were struggling as well. We read and sang but my brain was not really there. We went to respective chores. Malachi and Isaac came with me to fold laundry. I turned on my labor playlist which I'd been running off and on throughout the week. The song "Sons and Daughters" by Iron Bell Worship was on and God spoke to my frustrated heart, reminding me He was there with me and that He loves me and delights in me because of Christ. I sang and folded clothes and let the truth of being God's daughter wash over me.

It was then that I started to feel some discomfort in my pelvis. It was nothing major, just enough to say something might be happening. I continued to sing and teach the littles how to fold and put away clothes. I had an appointment at 10 am to check on my blood pressure, which had started creeping up a couple weeks earlier, so my parents came to watch the kids while I went to my appointment. By the time I was ready to go and my parents got there, I was uncomfortable enough to feel unsafe driving. I told my mom and we got everything together in case things intensified or we decided it was better for me to stay.

A little after 9 am my bags and camera were in the car and my dad drove me to my appointment. I was definitely contracting regularly while we drove, but they were mild and around 10 minutes apart. With all of the Covid restrictions, my dad stayed in the car and I went in to my appointment. Walking in the contractions backed down until I put my back pack down. I didn't want to sit down so I walked around the waiting room in an area where others were not while I waited. I definitely had a deep contraction that made me wonder if my water would break while waiting. It didn't and I was called back.

I told them I was contracting so they put me on the monitor for an NST and everything looked great. Contractions were still more than 5 minutes apart and mild. Dr. Barratt checked to see if I had dilated since my last appointment but I was still only 2-3 cm at that time, which didn't surprise me. So then the debate: Do I stay or do I go home and see what happens?

I knew I was in early labor but all of my labors have varied so much I didn't know how quickly I would progress. Also, with my hemorrhage with my last baby there was concern there. After back and forth, Dr. Barratt looked to see who was in delivery today. When he told me Dr. Almquist that sealed the deal as she is the other doctor in the practice that I really like and I didn't want to risk it being a long labor and ended up with someone I didn't want the next day. I told Jim I was going to L&D. Of course I forgot his clothes while packing, so he made a quick run home since I wasn't in rip roaring labor yet to change a grab a couple things that I had forgotten .

I got to the labor floor a little after 11 am and got checked in. While I was going to the unit my contractions stopped, which made me question my decision for a minute. But after getting in my room and changed, the contractions started again stronger than they were before, but still not bad. I walked around my room while I waited for my nurses and Jim to come.

The nurses came first. They put me on the monitor to make sure everything still looked good and did my admission assessment. Dr. Almquist came in and we discussed the plan: get pitocin started so we have a good labor pattern, break my water and have a baby. This has become my norm, so I was fine with it. Since I was already contracting on my own, I knew I wouldn't need much pitocin. My veins were not wanting to show up for the party, but finally they were able to get an IV going with one stick around 12:30 or so. There was no pump in the room so they had to go track down equipment.

Jim made it to the room not long after this. I was so thankful to see him! He got my oils going in the diffuser and made the room as comfortable as possible. I was still contracting on my own but able to sit down. A little after 1 pm they hooked me up to fluids and got the pitocin going. I was still OK at this point but really tired, so I took about a 30 minute nap while it took effect. Around 2 pm there was a nurse change due to other things happening on the unit. Dr. Almquist came in to check on me, make sure the pit was going and meet Jim. The plan was still the same, just needed a consistent labor pattern, which was almost there. They bumped the pitocin up and I stood up as I was getting to the "I don't want to sit point." I also needed to pee about every five minutes.

Within an hour I was in a good labor pattern, my contractions were deep and strong and I was so ready to have a baby. Thankfully the contractions were not painful. I swayed and prayed as I waited for the contractions to do their job. Around 3:20 pm Dr. Almquist came in to see about breaking my water. I laid down for her to check progress. I was 8-9 cm, completely effaced and baby's head at a +1. Just checking my cervix caused my water to break. She said, "I'm going to get my gear because I think we're going have a baby. Let me know if you need to push." I had a few contractions that were normal, move the baby down contractions. I was so ready to meet my baby.

While I waited for the urge to push I prayed for strength to push so I wouldn't need to push much. Finally the urge came. Just a little bit. A little bit more. Then the big one. One big push and the baby came smoothly. Jim said laughing, "It's a girl!" I said, "Really!? A girl!" He said, "YES!" I couldn't believe it. We finally had another girl. I laughed and talked to her as they put her on my chest. I marveled at this little miracle that all of our children, family, and friends had been praying for.

Jim said, "Esther is finally here." We have had the name Esther Elizabeth waiting in the wings for 9 years. Esther is such an amazing story of courage and how God uses His people to work out His plans. My middle name is Elizabeth and it means consecrated to God or oath of God. We pray this little girl will have the courage to follow God where ever He leads and she is consecrated to Him as she is His gift and blessing to us.

We're so thankful for Esther and her precious life. She is such an answer to prayer in so many ways and God provided exactly what we needed to go into labor and have a quick and nearly painless delivery. To God be the glory for such an amazing miracle and blessing!

Were We Ever Great?

The state of our country is rocky at best as I write this. Lives have been turned upside down from a new widespread virus and then destroyed by horrible acts of racism. As we come around to celebrating the independence of the United States once again, this question is plaguing me; Were we ever a great nation?

First, what does great mean?

According to the Google dictionary it means, "of an extent, amount of intensity considerably above the normal or average."

Sadly this definition is subjective at best because what is normal? What is average? Yes, the US has been ahead in many ways of many things, especially technology and for many years we were the wealthiest nation in the world. We have had power and prestige.

But really, is any of this great?

When I think about our history, while there are things that could be categorized as great, I cannot help but ask what did this greatness cost?

Was it great when the Europeans came over and took over the land of the natives, killing and driving them off because they wanted their land?

Was it great that we used "superior" weapons to make sure we destroyed as many as possible?

Was it great that we kidnapped people from their homes and built a home and legacy on the backs of slaves?

Was it great that we had a civil war because there was no agreement on how we should treat humanity and killed not only slaves but each other because of our own greed?

Was it great that people were (and in many ways still are) segregated because of skin tone or ethnicity?

When you look at how we have treated and still treat each other in this country, the answer is a resounding NO! Our greatness isn't defined by wealth, technology and what we have. Our greatness is defined by whether or not we live according to the Law of God.

In fact, I can only think of one time in history that any country could be called great. That was in the beginning after God had made all and placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden to cultivate it and God declared it good!

But soon it all went to hell, literally, as Adam and Eve brought sin into the world and we have been in chaos and turmoil ever since that day. We continue to live in this sin, hating each other, living for ourselves and our style and our preferences, doing what we believe in our hearts is right.

This is why we are not great, because this is true of the US today. And until we fall on our faces in repentance for our sin, our hatred, our greed, our malice, our bowing to self, we can never hope to be great. Therefore, repent and turn to Jesus and ask Him to reveal your heart. Live for God in true freedom which glorifies Him and Him alone, not ourselves and our agendas.

This is greatness: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind and with all your strength and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

As you celebrate today, remember that the point of freedom is to lift others up and in this we love God and glorify His Name.

The Essential Oils Hormone Solution

I've been excited to read this book as I'm really enjoying using essential oils and learning more about them. Dr. Mariza Snyder does an excellent job of talking through different hormonal issues women face and how we can use essential oils as well as diet and supplements to help manage hormone problems that may arise. I appreciate that Dr. Mariza is clear there is not a one size fits all and offers several things to try as well as things to talk to your health care provider about.

The first section of the book talks about using essential oils to balance your hormones instead of using hormones. This was very educational and eye opening on many fronts, as well as encouraging. Dr. Mariza shares how to appropriately use oils in a safe way as well as the top oils to use for balancing hormones. This is a great introduction to oils if you have not used them much.

Part two goes into using essential oils to to address hormonal symptoms. This section was excellent as it covered a variety of struggle areas for many women today and gave an overview of those symptoms and natural ways to manage them. The symptoms covered are stress, energy and fatigue, sleep issues, weight issues, female hormones including fertility, perimenopause and menopause, libido, emotions, cognitive issues, digestive issues and toxicity. Each section goes into the problems that are often dealt with and then oils and supplements and other care items that can help with each issue. Each section has a good overview and recommendations to get you started.

The last section Dr. Mariza takes you through her 14-Day Rescue Plan to help you reset your hormones. This includes a meal plan and oils to help you detox and reset your system. Since I'm currently pregnant I have not done this, but I am intrigued by it and may try the meal plan after my postpartum period.

For the information she gives this is an excellent book and resource. However, there are some things in this book that were too much for me. Her over indulgent focus on self care was very frustrating. I know she is coming at this from a secular western worldview, but telling women to look in the mirror every night and tell themselves "I love you" is unwise on so many levels. As a Christian this is just poor advice. I was also annoyed with being told I deserve to indulge in these things.  Again, she's not a Christian so as a Christian reading this just ignore the self-focus and find Biblical avenues to care for your soul where Dr. Mariza tells you to focus on yourself.

I also did not appreciate the feeling of demonization of gluten and dairy. Again a secular view of food and the belief that God created foods to hurt us. She does say you can introduce these things back, but her attitude is you're better without them. I thrive on dairy!

Overall I'd give this book 3.5 stars. Great info to help with natural solutions to health problems, but a way too focused on self.

Reading Challenges:
I'm using this book as a Book Printed in Hardcover in Tim Challies 2020 Reading Challenge in the Obsessed section.

Becoming God's True Woman

This past year our women's mentoring small group at Smyrna First have read this book and it has been a delight to read and discuss with other women.

This book is a compilation of several women authors discussing aspects of of Biblical femininity and is a much needed resources in the feminist culture of the US today. This book is broken into four parts to give a good overview of different parts of womanhood discussed in the Bible.

Part one discusses God's creation of womanhood and discusses finding our identity in who God created us to be as women. Starting at creation different Biblical passages are shared and show us how God created us to be women and that it is a good thing that we are created in His image, different from men. Our identity must be found in who God created us to be, knowing Him as Father and understanding how He sees us.

The second section discusses the challenges we face as women and living out true womanhood in a fallen world. We take an in depth look at Mary, mother of Jesus, to see the portrait of a true woman. While Wolgemuth takes some liberties in this breakdown, it is a very good description of what it means to be a woman after God's own heart. There is also a much needed discussion on discretion and what it means to live modestly in all areas of our lives.

In the third part we are reminded of the joy of living in submission to our husbands and the freedom we have in being their helpers. There is a great look at the joy of living in submission to our husbands as we live in submission to God. We also get a good look at the Trinity and the beauty of submission within it. The Holy Spirit is called our Helper, the same word used for wives. It is a privilege to live out the helper role and fulfill our God given purposes.

Part four goes into the joy of being bearers and nurturers of life and the privilege of bringing up another generation for the LORD. Whether biological, adopted or younger women in your life another way, we are all called to teach, train and encourage those younger than us in the fear and admonition of the LORD, teaching them His ways and His Word. This is our Titus 2 responsibility. This section was so encouraging as I'm learning to raise a daughter in Biblical womanhood and femininity for the LORD.

I highly encourage and recommend this read. Some of it may be hard to hear as it is completely counterculture to our feminist society, but even parts of this show women of feminists who have realized something is desperately wrong. This book is an excellent overview of the way we are to live as women of the Word.

5 Stars for this compilation.

Reading Challenges:
For the Tim Challies 2020 Reading Challenge this is my book Targeted at my Gender in the Light section of the challenge
For Jami Balmet's 2020 Christian Reading Challenge for Women this is one of my books on Biblical Womanhood

Our Five-Year-Old Nehemiah

Our precious Nehemiah is five years old today! So much has happened in his short life and we are so blessed to have this spunky little boy in our family.

Nehemiah loves to laugh and loves to live. He is small in stature but he has a huge personality. His imagination runs wild and he comes up with the best stories. His on going story is "Big Hero Pirates" and he instructs his siblings on how to play the story. Nehemiah also loves to be outside, but not by himself. He could run around in the yard for hours. Nothing outside gets to him. He loves his siblings and wants someone to be with him while he plays. He loves to be active.

Nehemiah also loves to learn. He's done an amazing job this year learning how to read and do basic math. He loves to get his books and and work on his phonics and numbers. He also enjoys learning science and discovering how things work. But as stated before, he loves creating stories and telling stories. He is so much fun. It's a blessing to watch him learn.

Recently, Nehemiah has been growing in learning the Bible as well. He does an amazing job with catechism and Scripture memory. He enjoys drawing pictures of God, Jesus and other stories that we talk about in the Bible. So thankful for how God is giving Nehemiah a love for His Word. He also is growing in prayer and says he wants to believe. How we pray God will grow the seeds into flowering plants!

If Nehemiah is not outside or doing book work, he enjoys watching educational shows, watching movies with the family or playing games/doing puzzles. He has gotten very good at doing puzzles and can put some difficult ones together pretty quickly. He really just enjoys being with the family and doing things together.

Nehemiah is a lot of fun! He adds so much life to our family. We are so thankful for this little boy and that we get to raise him for the LORD.

Father, Thank You for the gift of Nehemiah. You have given him such a zeal for life. I pray that You will save him by Your grace and give him a deep zeal for life with You. Thank You for giving him the desire to want to believe. Reveal the depths of his sin to him and lead him to repentance and faith. Thank You that you are working on him. Continue to give him a love of learning and a love for life. Please, give him a deep love for You above all else. In Jesus Name, Amen!

That Hideous Strength by C.S. Lewis

I chose this book for this year's Back to the Classics Challenge as a Genre Classic.

This third book in C.S. Lewis's Space Trilogy is by far the best. While still deep and very strange, it has a coherent story line that can be followed.

It follows Mark and Jane Studdock in their mediocre marriage as they are pulled in different directions by their individual lives. Mark, a progressive academic, desires to move his way up in the ranks of the university and society he has come to work in. Jane, a homemaker but also an academic, is plagued by realistic dreams that she cannot talk about with her husband, seeks the company of a woman who takes in students as her own to comfort her.

These two in their circles are drawn into a battle for Earth. It is a battle of ethics, science, faith and wills. It is a tale of spiritual warfare like never told before that draws you into a world that feels familiar yet not quite here yet. The NICE is progressive and wants to bring great evolution to the human race with science and technology. The group at St. Anne's is working to save humanity from the terrible force that seeks to destroy it.

As the two sides seek to work out their plans, the husband and wife are pulled apart to learn what is going on the world and who they really are.

Like all of Lewis's books, it is deep and will make you think. He has clear observations about humanity and has a deep view of the human psyche that will grow and stretch your own understanding. While mythical in nature, it is still very probable that many things in this book could happen. Many things feel like some of the conspiracies going around today.

For deep thinkers this is a good read. If you want to be challenged this is a good read. Definitely a better read than the previous two books in the triology.

I would give this book 4 stars.

Reading Challenges:
Back to the Classics Challenge as a Genre Classic
2020 Reading Challenges with Tim Challies a Book by an Author who is now Deceased in the Committed Section
The Modern Mrs. Darcy 2020 Reading Challenge as a Classic I Didn't Read in School

Philomena

This short children's book is a book in our Core C program from Sonlight.

Philomena is a little orphan girl who grew up in a village just outside of Prague with Babushka. When she turns twelve, Philomena, like all girls in her village, go to Prague to hire themselves out until sixteen to grow in their domestic skills and earn a dowry.

This story follows Philomena after Babushka dies and Philomena goes to Prague to find her only family, Aunt Liska whom they have not heard from in years. Philomena gets into some interesting situations as she learns and looks for her aunt before returning to her village.

This is a charming and interesting book. It gives you a peek into the older culture of Prague and how the people of this village think. It brought up lots of interesting conversations as Philomena "talks" to Babushka in Heaven to seek advice as well as comparing the differences in culture and belief.

I think it is a good book for discussion, though I can't say I loved the book. I do appreciate the ending that is left in a neutral tone, making it different from your happily ever after endings.

For me I'd give the book 3 stars.

Reading Challenges:

I'm counting this book as A Book that Looks Easy to Read in the Avid section of the 2020 Reading Challenge with Tim Challies.

Revelation: The Spirit Speaks to the Churches

I am grateful that our pastor let Jim borrow this commentary on the book of Revelation, as I love to study eschatology and learn more about hermeneutics. This was even more fun to read as Dr. James M. Hamilton Jr. was one of Jim's professors at seminary and it's always exciting to learn from great teachers.

On the whole I greatly enjoyed reading this book. I love the book of Revelation and discussing its implications on history and the world today. I love thinking about what God is going to do and the new age that is to come when Jesus returns and makes everything truly new and we can worship God perfectly forever. How I long for that day! And this book made me long for it all the more.

I absolutely appreciate Dr. Hamilton's candor in how he speaks of the book of Revelation and does not shy away from difficult implications and ideology that are found throughout the book of Revelation. He is clear about where he stands from his study of the Scripture and gives clear reasoning against some other positions in different places. The chapters are broken down into bite sized pieces making it easier to focus on one section at a time. While a strength, at times I struggled with this personally as even with an outline at the beginning of each chapter, I would get lost in the timeline.

Each chapter is laid out with an intro, showing the need God is revealing in that section, the main point, overview of the section and context of the passage before diving into the text. The consistency is extremely helpful as you know what to expect and know what to look for in each chapter. My one desire would have been to have the text printed in full before diving into the commentary. Dr. Hamilton does print out each verse as he discusses it, which is good, but it would have been nice to have the passage as a whole. Yes, I know you can go to your Bible, but if you have someone studying this who may not have a Bible it would be a nice addition. I also appreciate how Dr. Hamilton included references from Daniel and showed parallels from the end times prophecies found there next to that in Revelation.

While well written and quite thorough, I did struggle with some of the analogies used to explain things. Most of the time he explained the passage and points quite well, but I did find some areas that I would have considered holes that needed to be filled. I also struggled with when Dr. Hamilton used literal vs figurative translation. I am not saying that he is wrong in his interpretation, but I did find it strange in a few places that, to me, appeared to be in congruent with a previous point. I also found some of his explanations to lack proper full Scripture hermeneutical interpretation, but it would not keep me from recommending this book.

Personally, I was hoping it would help me pinpoint my own theological view of the end times, but sadly it made me more confused. But I'm OK with that because wrestling with Scripture is part of the walk with God. I also found some of his points against one of the other eschatological views confusing. Again, this would not keep me from recommending this book. In fact I'd love for others to read it so we can talk about it and help each other out!

I would give this commentary 4.5 stars for the reasons mentioned above, but still highly recommend it to anyone who wants to seek to better understand the book of Revelation, even if you do not agree with Dr. Hamilton's conclusions.

Reading Challenges:
This book is being used as a Commentary on a book of the Bible in the Avid section of Tim Challies's 2020 Reading Challenge.
I am also using this as a book in the category of Theology for the 2020 Christian Reading Challenge for Women with Jami Balmet.

16 Years of Marriage

As the years go by and the number of years of marriage creep up, I become more and more aware of the amazing grace of God. At 20 and 21 we were ready to build a life together and start this adventure full of hope and basic plans: go to nursing school together, work a little, start a family and live life.

A year later, our first mission trip to Moldova shook our world in a good way. We began to see God's heart for the world clearly and wanted to be part of that mission of taking the Gospel to the nations. We finished school, went on more trips to Moldova and began working as nurses. We had our first child and in that time, God started prompting us toward seminary. Steps of faith and after 6 years of marriage and two children we took a leap and moved to Louisville, KY to follow God in international mission work.

Our time in Louisville was full of family, work, school, church and life that had many highs and many lows. We helped with internationals in our apartment complex and learned everything we could. We enjoyed having Becca live with us as our family grew from 4 to 9 in seven years! We learned together and grew together in ways that I still cannot believe to this day. And as Jim neared graduation, God clearly said go back to Smyrna First!

This is not what we had planned. Not at all! But another leap of faith returned us to Smyrna/Mableton and we have been back almost three years (adding three more little ones come July). This last step has grown our marriage in ways I could not even fathom as a 20-year-old newly wed. And in many ways this last year has been the sweetest one yet.

Except for the national health crisis this past quarter, this has been the most stable year of our life. By stable I mean consistent schedule, no major moves, same job, same hours, no school and no major changes. I didn't know it was possible. But in that stability we have found each other in deeper ways, enjoying life together, raising children, working, being part of the local church and doing life for the glory of God.


This year we have found a rhythm that puts God first, marriage second, children/home third and everything else that needs to be prioritized in its place. That's not to say we always get it right. There is always tweaking and sometimes second guessing. But we are seeing the joy that comes from following God's design for marriage, family, home, church and ministry that gives life in the only way following God can.

While every year is a gift, a precious treasure to not take for granted, this year has been extra special. And what makes it even better is there is no particular reason why! It just has been. Most likely because by the grace of God we love each other more today than we ever have before and today we are more like Jesus because of the work the Holy Spirit has done in our lives. We still have a long way to go, but by God's amazing grace each year will be sweeter than the last and we will know even deeper the mighty love of God together.

A Prayer for BIPOC

As I read the Psalms over the last couple of days, my heart has been even heavier at the events that have taken place against those in the BIPOC community. Every time I hear of another murder, more violence against them, my heart breaks at the injustice of it all. I have been praying, but failed to speak because words fail me in these moments. But reading the Psalms has given me words to pray for the BIPOC community.

Father, You are a God of justice and grace. Today, I ask You to be gracious to Your creation that are being hurt, murdered, trampled on because of the way You have made them. Vindicate those who have been hurt and killed without cause because Your justice is true. Bring Your healing to their hearts, their minds, their bodies as they are pining away from the flows of injustice. They ask "How long?" Father, rescue their souls because of Your lovingkindness. They are weary from sighing and their beds are dissolved in tears. Their eyes are wasting with grief because of their adversaries. Please, intervene today! Let them see that You have heard their cries, the voice of their weeping. Let them know that You have heard their supplication, receiving their prayers for justice. Let all those who see to do them harm be brought to shame and greatly dismayed.

In You alone is where refuge is found. Please, be their Refuge! Be their Shield! Be their righteous judge. All that has been done against Your creation, the blacks and indigenous people of color bring it to light and do not let any evil stand. You judge all in righteousness. You execute judgement with equity. You see the hearts of man. Be gracious to the BIPOC. I know You see their affliction from those who hate them. Demolish the hate and lift up those hurting by Your grace. Vindicate those who are being oppressed and show Your justice against those who seek to bring them more harm. Let the oppression of the BIPOC end. Bring Your equity here!

In the Powerful Name of Jesus here these pleas and bring Your justice here!

(From parts of Psalms 6, 7, 9, 10 and 43)

White Stallion of Lipizza

This book was a part of our Sonlight Core C curriculum and was such a fun and inspiring story.

Hans is the son of a baker who loves horses and wants to be a rider for the Ballet of Lipizzaners. Being the son of a baker, his dream seems far out and unreachable. Every Sunday Hans hitches his own horse to the bakery wagon for deliveries and makes sure he is early to see the horses cross the road from their stables to the arena for their show. There is one who his horse seems to notice and Hans grows an affection for.

Since Hans is still in school he must wait until he finishes to attempt going after a spot in the riding school, but he spends his evening time after studies learning all he can about the Lipizzaners and their tricks. He is given the opportunity to go see a performance and his love for the art grows even more. While his parents do not discourage his dream completely, they are very realistic with Hans and what will likely be.

Follow Hans as he follows his dream and watch the growth of an ambitious young boy as he deals with life, loss and searching for his heart desire.

The children and I thoroughly enjoyed this book! I was completely surprised that I loved it as much as I did and even found myself tearing up as I read the end. There are so many points for discussion: doing what is right and necessary over what you want, dealing with loss and heartbreak, learning how to overcome disappointment, patience and maturity.

I absolutely recommend this book. I give it 5 stars as it is well written, very realistic and engaging. This is an excellent family read.

Reading Challenges:
I'm using this book as a book by an author I've never heard of under the obsessed section in Tim Challies 2020 Reading Challenge.

I wish this was NOT a picture book so I could use it for my classics challenge, but alas it is full of pictures and does not count.

Jim's 37th Birthday

Today Jim celebrates 37 years of life. 

I'm so thankful to celebrate another year with Jim. It is just a blessing to have such a wonderful, God fearing man as my husband, friend and life partner.

This year has been a good one. It's been a year that has been steady in our home, and Jim has grown so much as a husband, father and man. With a consistent schedule he has been so present when he is home and has helped our children find routine. They love having Daddy home on Wednesdays for a mid-week break and generally having weekends off. It has been a blessing to read the Bible together as a family over breakfast before Jim goes to work so that he can shepherd our children even in the early hours of the day. On a rotating schedule the older six get a special game night on Tuesday since Daddy doesn't work the next day. We have also been able to add a special time on Thursdays with the oldest four to disciple and let them ask questions about anything they're wanting to know. Jim has really grown in shepherding the hearts of our children and it's amazing to see how God is using Jim's influence and teaching in their lives.

Jim has been taking the helm leading he and I through Christian Marriage Adventures on Mondays, which has helped us to be in the Word and prayer more intentionally together. We have been more intentional about talking through things and growing as man and wife. We have also started Friday night date nights in to relax, play a game, watch a movie and just be. Having these two things has been very needed in staying connected during a full time work schedule. During the pandemic we have also added some extra reading time together on Wednesday nights. This has been wonderful for preparing ourselves for the birth of our next baby.

I have watched Jim grow in his love of God's Word and prayer this year too. He is faithful to get up early to meet with the Lord and seek His face. It is such a blessing to have a man who diligently seeks after God with all that He is. I've seen Jim grow in patience and being quick to repent when he fails. What a Godly example for our family!

I am so glad to call Jim mine and to do life with him. This year has been so different than any other but so good. He continues to seek where God wants him in the day in and day out so that he can be effective in ministering to whoever he is around.

Thank You, Father, for Jim and the amazing gift he is to our family. Thank You for how You continue to teach him and grow him in Christ-likeness. Our family is so blessed to have Jim as our leader, our head, our shepherd as you lead and shepherd him. Continue to teach him as he teaches us and show him everyday how to glorify You in all things. In Jesus Name. Amen!

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

When it comes to the movies, the fourth installment of the Harry Potter series, has always been my favorite. Likely this is mostly nostalgia as I used to listen to it going to sleep on the nights Jim was at work, but I think it's also because of the turning point in the series. While the movie is excellent, the book far exceeds it!

Thus far this book is my favorite in the Harry Potter series. The story is so woven to keep you on your toes and wondering what is going to happen. If I did not know the outcome of the book I would NOT have suspected it at all. Rowling does an excellent job of weaving character stories, descriptions, character's feelings and thoughts so that you are never quite sure what it going to happen next. This is the epitome of story-telling.

For those who have not read this book, it follows the Harry's fourth year at Hogwarts where he is mysteriously entered into the Triwizard Tournament in spite his being underage and a Hogwart's champion being selected.

It begins with the Quidditch World Cup where dark wizards torment muggles and begat fear among all who are in the wizarding world. When the Tournament comes up even more questions arise about why the dark forces seems to be so strong yet again. Harry has dreams that are vivid and full of questions. The world of house elves is even more deeply exposed causing more tension with the main characters as well as exposing more of the story at hand.

As Harry works through his school year while preparing for the grueling events of the tournament we see friendships tested, lessons learned, deep emotions and questions arise for this young man. While no one in our world will experience exactly what Harry is going through, you can relate to what he is thinking and feeling as well as see different angles. While it's not the genre specifically, it is an excellent coming of age book and as an adult I can appreciate the struggle while also saying, "Why did you do that?" now that I have lived through the teenage years.

While this book is an excellent read, it is very dark and needs parental guidance before a young person reads it. There are also blatant rule breaking and getting away with it. This installment also has a bit of language as well.

Even with the parental warnings I still give this book five stars for the excellent writing and story line. If you love a good fantasy book, I highly recommend it.

Reading Challenges:
This book is being used for a book of at least 300 pages in the Tim Challies 2020 Reading Challenge.

Prayer by Timothy Keller

This is a book I've been reading with one of my women's groups from our church and it was amazing! Prayer is a spiritual discipline that I love and one I still need so much growth in, and this book helped me to go even deeper in understanding prayer, it's power and it's importance.

There are five major sections: Desiring Prayer, Understanding Prayer, Learning Prayer, Deepening Prayer and Doing Prayer. In each section Keller gives a clear Biblical reason for this aspect of prayer and practical ways to grow in that area.

Desiring prayer can be challenging, even for the strongest of Christians because of life. The necessity of prayer is made clear as Keller breaks down the myths and challenges of prayer and points us toward God and growing our relationship with him. In the Greatness of Prayer he points us to the fact that prayer points us to God and does a mighty work in us as well as God using prayer to work through us. What a gift to be able to pray prayers that God uses to accomplish His will!

In Understanding Prayer, Keller explains what prayer is, conversing with God and encountering God. This section was beautiful and brilliant as Keller tackled the theology behind prayer, the knowledge of God that allows us to pray and in prayer moves us to really experience God, finding the balance between stoic theology and emotional experience. As Keller says on page 80, "Prayer turns theology into experience."

Learning prayer gives practical examples of how and what to pray. Keller shares Letters of Prayer that look at how church fathers explained prayer from Augustine and Luther and gives advice from their advice. Rules for prayer explains basic principles that we should abide by in prayer from the Scripture. Keller carefully walks us through the Prayer of Prayers to show how we can use the prayer Jesus gave us as an example to pray deeply about all things. In Touchstones of Prayer he shows the elements of prayer that should effect us and how praying walks us through these different touchstones to show us our insufficiency and the all sufficiency of God

Deepening Prayer takes you to a deeper level, as it states, in understanding and practicing prayer. Keller talks about the conversation of prayer, which is meditating on Scripture and responding to it. All of our being is to be meditating on Scripture and so he discusses meditating with both heart and mind as well as fixing your mind on the Word leading to meditating on the Incarnate Word, Jesus Christ, who has given us the privilege of prayer. He then moves into Encountering God, which is seeking His face. "We must not settle for an informed mind without an engaged heart," says Keller on page 165. We take the knowledge of God from His Word and move into experiencing Him with all of our being as we pray. This section is pivotal in understanding how truth and experience intertwine in prayer. It was so eye-opening for me.

In Doing Prayer, Keller gets extremely practical in what it means to literally pray and also is honest about the struggles of prayer. We start with awe, grow in intimacy with God, tell Him our hearts and continue on. The last chapter gives practical guides to help you set up a routine for prayer.

This book is so rich and will be an asset to anyone who wants to grow in prayer whether you're new to the faith or have been a Christian for fifty years! I cannot recommend this book enough!

5 Stars

Reading Challenges:
I'm using this as a theology book in the light section of the Tim Challies's 2020 Reading Challenge.
In the 2020 Christian Reading Challenge for Women with Jami Balmet I'm counting this as a book on Spiritual Disciplines.

Our Ten-Year-Old Lillian

A Decade...

That's how long it's been since our precious, tiny Lillian was born.

A Decade!

The word is so big and yet so small. How can it only be ten years since she made her appearance, fast a furious with no effort on my part? Yet, ten years. There's no way that it's been ten years since I first held this precious little girl.

But the dates do not lie. This amazing gift from God is ten years old today!

Where do I even begin with our only little girl? Lillian is so full of life! She loves to live. She wakes up ready for the day, blazing to go and get started on what needs to be done. She is a go-getter and doesn't like to slow down for anything. Carpe Diem will likely be her life motto.

Lillian's passion is baking and cooking! She could do it all day everyday! She dreams of having her own bakery and providing treats for people in all walks of life in what they can and cannot eat. Our family is consistently blessed by her decadent desserts and delicious dinners. Thus far she has not come across anything she cannot make. Cookies, cakes and pies are a regular at our house. She can also make caramel, tuiles and chocolate candies. Missing an ingredient? Lillian is not afraid to try something new even if it doesn't turn out right! The marks of a true baker. She's also starting to try breads and one loaf she makes regularly for our soup nights is absolutely amazing! I so look forward to see what God is going to do with the talent He has given this little girl.

Lillian also loves to learn. So much of her learning takes place in the kitchen which is probably part of the reason she loves math! But she also enjoys Latin and reading. Recently she has become very interested in reading the Bible daily and is working through the Guthrie Reading Plan for reading the Bible in a year with Smyrna First! It is such a blessing to see this and I pray God will use this to grow her in knowledge of God and that the Holy Spirit will show her the truth of God's Word so that she will see her sin and, by God's grace, turn to Him in repentance and faith.

With all of this, Lillian loves being with her family, and really with people in general. She loves to talk about things and discuss what she is learning. She loves to explore outside. Lillian is growing in caring for babies as she often helps with Timothy. Even when they annoy her, she loves being with her brothers. Often she can be found teaching Gabriel to bake something or working along side Reuben in the kitchen. She also enjoys building with LEGOs with her brothers and playing outside with them. She enjoys the sun and fresh air as well as going on adventures. She just loves life!

Recently, Lillian has begun to enjoy moments of alone time. She will walk around our yard by herself or curl up on her bed with a good book. This year she has read all of the American Girl books on her shelf and is working through the Dear America books that she has. She also enjoys the Magic Tree House Books. She is learning to journal as well and is beginning to write down prayer requests and draw pictures about what she's learning.

It is amazing to see how much this little baby has grown into a beautiful young woman. As she enters into the teen years, I pray she continues to grow and that she will seek the LORD with all her heart. We are so blessed to have a young woman in the midst of a household of boys. I'm always reminded that God knows exactly what we needed and I'm thankful for this girl to teach about Biblical womanhood and to help our boys learn how to treat women.

Father, thank You for the gift of Lillian! She is such a beautiful and precious image bearer and I am so thankful our family has the privilege of having her in our home. Thank You for the passion for life you have given her and the amazing talents she already possesses at such a young age. How I pray that she will use this gusto, this zeal for Your Kingdom and Your glory. Father, thank You for giving her a desire for Your Word and Your Way. Please take that love and turn it into a complete and devoted love for You! Let her love You with all of her heart, soul, mind and strength. Let her love her neighbor as herself. Let all of her passion for life flow from a passion for You, the Giver of all life. Show her that life without You is not truly life and that true abundant life is found only in the saving grace of Jesus. Thank You for this decade with Lillian! I pray we will have many more decades with her to watch her grow in wisdom, in stature and in favor with God and man. Make her like Jesus! I pray all of these things in Jesus Name. Amen!

When Wearing a Mask is Loving Your Neighbor As Yourself

I'm not the least bit afraid of the Corona Virus. In fact, I can't ever think of a time in my life I've been afraid of getting sick. I've never been a germaphobe, been obsessive about washing my hands or afraid of contact with humanity. This just isn't me.

I admit that when things started going crazy in mid-March I was among the top skeptics. I thought everything was being blown out of proportion and everyone was overreacting to just a virus and wondered what was the matter with everyone. Most likely I thought that because of my lack of germaphobia.

By God's grace sickness has not been a large part of my life story. I've had many of hard blows that have knocked me to the ground, but health and sickness has not been one of them. Even now I think of how blessed I am when I have been such a poor steward of my body and my health for most of my life and I don't know why.

I have been doing many things to improve my health over the past few years praying and trusting God would bless my efforts. To this day, I continue to remain in good health and for that I am grateful.

So when all of the shut down began to happen and I heard about people wearing masks, I seriously thought they were nuts. Why would you do that? What's the point?

Then someone I knew in healthy condition died.

I saw posts from a dear Sister who has a seriously medically fragile child.

I started looking at the numbers in several different places and letting God teach me through the knowledge He gave me in nursing school and through the independent study I have done over the past few years as I have studied health and I realized, this is far more serious than I thought.

I started understanding it's not just about me it's about my neighbors. I also realized that I was one of the immune compromised because I'm pregnant with gestational diabetes.

I became more rigorous with my oils, my cleaning of the home and staying home as much as possible, but I still refused to let it effect what I did when I went out. "I don't need a mask. I'm totally fine," is what I thought.

At my last OB appointment my doctor urged me strongly to wear a mask when going to the store. I had one in the car to say I had one but had no intention of wearing it. On the way to the car from my appointment, I ended up in the elevator with two elderly gentlemen, both wearing masks. One of them in sweet concern asked me, "Where's your mask?"

I smiled at him and said, "I'm just going to see my doctor and they are all covered. I've got one in the car." He seemed to "understand" and acknowledge the doctors were being careful, but it got me thinking.

While I'm out, I go ahead and get groceries, so when I got to Lidl I put on the mask Jim had brought home from a co-worker whose friend had made one for each nurse in the unit. It is cloth so not as bad as the plastic hospital masks, but half way through the store I was struggling to breathe and thought, "This is nuts! I'm going to die from wearing the mask!"

Yes, a little extreme I know, but the truth was I didn't want to wear the mask! It was uncomfortable and inconvenient and I straight up didn't like it. I had two more stops to make and decided I tried it and I wasn't going to wear the mask in the other two stores. And I didn't.

Most everyone else was wearing one, so I thought that was good enough. Herd masking right???

Over the next week I thought about it a little, but not much. Then Monday night, Jim and I watched a sermon from Pastor Richard Chin as part of our T4G online ticket. He taught on being Captured by Christ with Colossians 3 as his text. This chapter of God's Word teaches us to put our minds on things above and not on earthly things. We're to seek to put to death anything that is worldly and of the flesh and clothe ourselves in Christ righteousness, loving others the way Christ loves us.

"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." Colossians 3:12-14

To be captured by Christ is to live for Him and His glory and not for ourselves. Pastor Richard talked about other crisis that others of the faith had lived through and shared this quote from Martin Luther:

"I shall ask God mercifully to protect us. Then I shall fumigate, help purify the air, administer medicine and take it. I shall avoid persons and places where my presence is not needed in order not to become contaminated and thus perchance inflict and pollute others and so cause their death as a result of my negligence. If God should wish to take me, He will surely find me and I have done what He has expected of me and so I am not responsible for either my own death or the death of others. If my neighbor needs me, however, I shall not avoid place or person but will go freely as stated above. See, this is such a God-fearing faith because it is neither brash nor foolhardy and does not tempt God." 

This quote has stayed with me all week.

When I went to the grocery store on Wednesday I decided I would wear my mask.

And I did.

I had four stops to make because of the various items needed and I was not looking forward to wearing this mask. But as I got in the car after making two stops I realized that by wearing my mask I was living out my God-fearing faith by loving my neighbor as myself.

It is easy to take this command to mean I want others to do to me what I want done to me, but as I sat with my mask on looking at everyone else with their masks on God said, "No, it's doing for them what they want done for them."

I might be a healthy person that rarely gets sick, but what about everyone in the store with me? I don't know what they're fighting. I don't know if they are terrified of getting sick or maybe have major health problems, but have to come out because they have no one to help. They may even think I don't care about them because I'm not wearing one.

I also thought about my baby. It's not loving my baby to willingly put myself in unnecessary risk, tempting God because I don't want to deal with the nuisance of wearing a mask. It's not loving my husband, who needs to work, or my other children to be so cavalier because I don't get sick.

How selfish I had been. How I had loved my comfort instead of helping others feel at ease. How dare I treat human life so callously.

I repented right then and their and asked God to continue to show me where I was falling short in loving others.

I'm still not a germaphobe. I'm still not afraid of getting sick.

But I resonate completely with Colossians 3 to put on love and bear with others with a compassionate heart, kindness, meekness and patience as we face this pandemic together. I resonate with Martin Luther that says I will do what is right and necessary according to what God has directed so that no matter what may come, I have not tempted my God and done what He has expected of me.

So I encourage you today, love your neighbor as yourself.