Saturday, April 18, 2020

Confession: I'm Not Really Struggling

We're a month into the social distancing mandate both locally and nationally. It's been a strange month in many ways, but in others there isn't that much that's different. Not for us anyway.

It's been just over two years since we finally settled in Mableton after a long transition, and during that time we have done a lot at home. We've been homeschooling since our oldest was 2 and a half. We're a large family so we don't go that many places that often. The biggest changes have been not being able to meet with the church and not taking family trips to the stores to shop and learn together. We've really kept things quite simple.

So this last month has been a bit of fresh air in many ways. Don't get me wrong, I'm an extreme extrovert and I miss gathering with our people. But at the same time I've loved not having a reason to go anywhere. It's kind of nice being able to go quickly to the grocery store or take my time so I can adequately compare prices (when there are options to choose from at the store).

The Shelter at Home order being wide spread has also taken some of the pressure off our days and we're actually doing better! We've been able to disciple more intentionally. Everyone is working together to learn and get book work accomplished. Chores have been smoother. We've been getting outside everyday the weather allows to enjoy sunshine and mild exercise. Individual reading time has been reinstated. Creative expression has become more prevalent during our day with writing, drawing, LEGO building and cooking/baking. We're talking more about everything.

On top of the family growing together, Jim and I are working together more when he's home and because of the strangeness at the hospitals he has been home more! We've been working on marriage material, dreaming about ministry and blogging and seeking God's vision for our family. We have started another book and we're having intentional date nights in every week.

Personally, I have been seeing God more clearly as I'm studying the Old Testament with our church's reading plan and going through Revelation. Both are challenging me greatly and driving me to my knees even more. God is revealing my sin and showing me where I have been falling short. I've been praying more, looking for gratitude in the little things and enjoying being a mom more than I ever have. I've also been writing more and learning more. I'm writing blog posts, working on my book and have a virtual writing group that has been so much fun. Last week I was able to pray with a friend of ours who is preparing to return to Japan several times. I've had texts and sent texts. I'm learning how to be completely satisfied in God alone!

It's hard not being able to gather with the Body and worship together physically. But our pastors have done an amazing job streaming our Sunday corporate worship, even in their own struggles, and we've been able to use it to train our children in corporate worship decorum without bothering those around us. Even in the darkness, that has been a great light for us.

The kids have been a little antsy not going anywhere in a month. But they are growing in relationship with each other. There are more spats and squabbles, but it has been a time for growth and teaching, calling out sin and pointing our children to Jesus. The little ones have been demanding more attention, but they are learning to receive discipline and instruction with decreasing fight. They miss their friends, but they are growing in friendship with each other.

By God's grace this won't last forever. This virus will subside. We will be able to meet in large gatherings again. We will go to the grocery store, the park, museums or wherever we want to go to live life.

But also by God's grace we will never be the same. And that is a good thing.

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