Recently life has been trying. Our family is in a season of waiting. God made it clear that after Jim graduated from seminary He wanted us to move back to GA and fully rejoin our church in Smyrna.
And we are still here.
Our house has been on the market close to 2 months with many showings but nothing coming from them, though we live in a desirable area and have a lot of space for our area of town. We have cleared out and done a lot of work to make it "show ready" even with 7 kids running around. We have done all we can. What is God doing?
Friday I lost it. I have struggled for awhile with fully trusting God and believing that He will really take care of us and do what is best, and it finally came to a head. I cried out, "God what are you doing? What am I missing? What else do I need to do? Where are you?"
With all of this I have also struggled with being told, in not so many words, that our kids are too much, a burden, or my problem in various ways. I know from God's Word this is not true and I feel like I have to fight all the time for my family. "God, why do people think we are a burden? Why are we left alone?"
That afternoon we had a showing at dinner time and went to Dairy Queen for a fun treat for the kids. Weary from my cries Jim and I sat surrounded by our kids feeding them when I man comes to fill his drink next to our table. I noticed right away he had a Bible in his hands. He asked, as many do, "Are all these kids yours?" What comment were we going to get this time?
"Yes, they are," Jim and I affirmed.
"Wow, That's amazing!" He replies with a smile on his face. "Well, I just want you to know that Jesus loves you!"
I looked at my food and said, "I know." But the truth was, I didn't know. I should know, but I didn't. But at that moment God affirmed to me, "I hear your cries. You are not forgotten. I love you and I will take care of you."
The man said something else positive about our family size, blessed us and walked away.
We will likely never see him again. God just sent him to tell me He loved me. Why would He do that?
Because He hears the cries of His people. Our hearts matter to Him. He wants us to trust Him and follow Him even when He appears silent or immobile. He is not. He is moving, working, speaking. And He is doing that for me, while still working His will.