June Evaluation 2015

Due to circumstances this past year, I'm not really changing my goals. Some will go that are not top priority, but I'm keeping the ones that fit with the overarching goal of having a God-centered life and the things I see Him leading me to right now. So thus far this is how it goes:

Spiritual

• Spend at least 10 minutes praying daily- Yes, I'm working more directed prayer into my day
• Spend at least 10 minutes reading and reflecting on the Bible daily- Yes! 
• Memorize verses with the kids - Not doing real well with this right now, a little hear and there
• Memorize Scripture- Not much

Marriage

• Go out for a date once a week- Yes
• Go on a night away once this year- Yes we went away for our anniversary!
• Read 3 books together this year- Prioritized what we want to read together
• Discuss plan weekly on Sunday Saturday afternoon- Doing much better with this on Saturdays and have begun making weekly schedules.

Kids

• Spend 30 minutes of one on one time with each child every week- still need to work on this
• Go to playgroup each Tuesday- I think we made it to all of them for at least a little while
• Write in individual journals at least 3 times this year- Have gotten caught up and well on my way to doing this
• Finish Jamey's 1st year Scrapbook- Finally went through some of the stuff and looked at what I need to do with what I already have, nothing additional

Homemaking

• Keep up with cleaning schedule- getting better but still have room for improvement
• Keep up with my calendar- Much improvement and continual scheduling
• Being fully present when with my family- Getting better at this, but still struggling

Ministry

• Continue sending out Prayer List- Yes

Personal

• Read a book a month for myself- Finished "Screwtape Letters" and "The Communist Manifesto"
• Journal 5 days a week- Yes! God has really been giving me opportunity to do this in the morning
• Write (books) 3 days a week- Worked on some notes for a non-fiction book that is in the works 
• Edit novel to prepare for publishing and research publishing options- Got started on my second rounds of edits and met with a friend to discuss Kindle formatting. Excited to see how this goes!
• Finish Rosetta Stone Russian level 1 - Have not worked on this
• Continue to meet once a month with writing group- Yes!
• Blog 3 days a week- That was my average this month! 

Health

• Go to water aerobics once a week- The pool is open and I have been going regularly again!
• Maintain weight until birth- Maintained well this month!
• Lose weight after giving birth- 

Where did June go? This month has been crazy prepping for baby, cleaning, doing some extra school work with Jamey, working on The Quiet Fight Among Women launch team, learning daily what God has for me to do and wrestling with emotions and feelings in everything! God has been very gracious to our family this month and has taught me a lot. I'm still working to finish my novel and to keep going with Childbirth Conversations posts when I can. It's been such a busy month, but by God's grace I have been able to keep the important things first much of the time and He has graciously corrected me when I'm way off base. God is so good.

How was June for your goals?

Nehemiah Ezra

The day our family has been waiting for for the past 9 months finally came today! We welcomed our 6th baby into our family, Nehemiah Ezra. It has been a challenging year, but in the middle of it all, God has chosen to bless our family once again.

By God's grace, my birth story is quite short for my 6th, though the waiting process was not. God has done a lot of work in my heart as I waited and prepared for another child. This month in particular has held much of that. I had my Mama's day out the 1st of June, which was wonderful. As soon as it was completed, I was ready for him to be born. Not long after this we found out my dad would be having eye surgery July 7 and we really needed our boy to come by the week before so my parents could come meet him. So we prayed and I did what I could to attempt to make myself go into labor. Nothing would happen.

Yesterday my parents came up for a friend's baptism, and less than 12 hours later my labor started. God always has a plan and is always in control, even when we don't know what His plan is or understand what it is He is doing. This is what God has been teaching me throughout this pregnancy.

We went to bed last night with our plans for the next day in order. Jim and I prayed and went to sleep. At 2:30 am I woke up just feeling icky and needing to pee. After this I had a contraction. I laid back down, because I have had contractions off and on for weeks with nothing happening. I dozed a little, but the contractions continued and I could not get back to sleep. I battled to sleep for 2 hours, but I was also getting hungry. At 4:30 I decided to get up and go into the living room to pray and read some of the Psalms I have been reflecting on lately.

Contractions were every 5 minutes, but I was able to nap for 30 to 45 minutes, which was nice. At 5:30 I was starving, so I ate a protein bar just to have something in my stomach. Just before 6 am my oldest came into the living room and my contractions changed becoming much stronger and coming every 2-3 minutes. At 6:15, Jim came in and I told him that I was in labor. At that point I was still not sure about when I wanted to go to the hospital, but we started moving in that direction. I took a shower and during the shower it became clear that I was moving into a more active status. I called my doctor on call and we decided I should probably head to the hospital since it is my 6th baby.

We arrived at the hospital right around 7 am and got checked it. I was already 6 cm with a bulging bag of water. I had to have a saline lock (the absolute worst part of giving birth). Once it was placed they took me over to my delivery room. They got me situated and made sure our baby sounded good on the monitor and then let be.

I moved very quickly. About 8 am my water broke on its own. We told the nurse and she told me I was 9 cm so I could not fully push yet. I looked at Jim and said, "I need to have a baby." 20 minutes later, he was born!

I had prayed frequently that my labor would be quick, and God graciously granted this to me.

At 8:20 am on June 28th, Nehemiah entered this world outside the womb. He weighed in at 8 lbs 7 oz and was 20 inches long.

This is the first time we found out ahead of time what the gender of our baby is, so we were ready with a name. Nehemiah Ezra means God is my comforter and helper. This is who our God is and now we have a daily reminder of how much God has comforted us and helped us throughout our life as this precious boy, made in God's image, is a part of our life.

Father, thank You for giving Nehemiah to our family. Please save him by your grace and teach him that You are the great comforter and helper. You are all that he needs!

We are so excited to begin our life as a family of 8!

In The Wating

My 6th baby is due on Tuesday, so I am in the waiting game as I wonder when my new little one will make his appearance. I am hot. I am sweaty. I am tired in every sense of the word. I feel a little bit of pressure due to some family circumstance that have come up and try not to dwell on that, knowing that God's perfect timing is best. And yet, I am still tired from juggling all this. I say I believe this but functionally am acting as though it all is on me.

Today I prayed as I read Psalm 146 and was reminded again about praising and worshiping God in all circumstances. I pray constantly for God to put me into labor, yet I have forgotten to stop and praise Him and worship Him as my God and Creator, the Creator of my child, the Giver of all life. I am functionally living as if I am God.

No wonder I am so tired!!!!!

So this morning I spent some time praising God and asking Him to fill me with His Spirit. And I feel better. I have been able to do things that my fatigue excuse did not allow for and to care for my children a little better. Don't get me wrong, it's still been challenging and I have yelled, I have cried, I have wanted to lock myself in my room and let the kids duke it out for themselves. But now I can better hear that still small voice as I seek patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control and love. I can say God help me and I praise You for making me.

In this, though, I'm still fighting the bargaining flesh, the part of me that says, OK God I've done this, now it's time to go into labor. I don't want this either. And so I turn again to say, thank You God for giving me Your Spirit so that I can do what is right. Give me the desire to do what I need to, no matter what happens.

Waiting in hard. But how God has drawn me to Him during this time of waiting. My God is so amazing!

Are You (Jesus) the Only Way?

This is our next question in Sojourn's series, "Questioning Jesus", and it was such a good reminder of the Truth of God's word as well as helping to know how to state what I believe. Pastor Daniel used 3 passages to highlight each of the points.

John 1:1-4

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 [a]He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men."

Author of Creation
We see in this passage that Jesus has always been and was with God the Father when the world was created. This means Jesus is the Author of creation and as the author, He has authority. He is co-creator with the Father and the Holy Spirit.
Jesus is the source of all life and sustains all life.
Jesus is what holds the universe together. He is the particle that scientists are looking for in understanding how the universe operates.
Because He is author, we must give God the right to be God.

John 14:5-6

"Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?”6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.""

Path to Salvation
Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. He clearly says I am THE way, not a way. He had many opportunities to correct those who wanted to kill Him for claiming to be God, but He did not. He readily admitted that He is God and that He is the only way to be saved.
We are not left alone, but Jesus draws near to His people and pursues us as the Way to salvation.
His life, death and resurrection have done the work for us and we no longer must strive to save ourselves. Our salvation is secured in Jesus. We must accept this Truth in order to become like Jesus.
Yes it is narrow, but life and reality is narrow.

John 20:25-29

"So the other disciples were saying to him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.”

26 [e]After eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors having been [f]shut, and stood in their midst and said,“Peace be with you.” 27 Then He said to Thomas, “Reach here with your finger, and see My hands; and reach here your hand and put it into My side; and do not be unbelieving, but believing.” 28 Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!” 29 Jesus said to him, “Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed.”"

Lord and God
We know this to be true because Jesus makes much of Himself throughout Scripture. Some references for this are: John 5:16-18, 8:56-59, 10:30-33, 14:1,6,7,9,11,21,23
We must regularly ask ourselves, Do I functionally live and demonstrate that Jesus is the only way?
We need to be comfortable with our doubts, questions and unbelief so that we can ask question and be able to deal with other people's questions when they have them. Jesus as Lord and God draws near to us in our doubts and questions and allows us to ask them.

We need to tell others about Jesus and teach them the Truth. There is an urgency because it is a matter of life now and life for eternity.

Do you share your faith? Where do you doubt Jesus?

The Communist Manifesto

I have been wanting to read this book for quite some time and finally read it as my 6th book in the Back to the Classics Challenge as my Nonfiction Classic. If I'd realized how short it actually was, I would have read it a long time ago, but thankfully I had it to read now.

It was very interesting to read and I enjoyed it in a lot of ways. I find their view of society very interesting and in some ways agree with them, while in others I completely disagree. What I found most interesting is there ideals are very religious in nature and yet they reject religion and embrace atheism, expecting people to live in an ideal manner without the help of any outside power. As a Christian I can say this is impossible, which makes all of their manifesto pointless.

Since it is a short read, I would say read it as it is an interesting aspect of history and culture.

3 stars.

The Quiet Fight Among Women - What I Have Learned Thus Far

I have been working through this course and it is more than I could have asked for. In the past couple of years God has really opened my eyes to my judgmental attitude and how much I compare myself to others, keeping me from doing some of the things He has for me to do. Last week I shared a preview of Unit Two with three of my favorite quotes from those videos. I have battled so much to be who God has created me to be and in turn have struggled to let other women be who God created them to be. In the first video of Unit Three of "The Quiet Fight Among Women", Angie says,

" If we cannot see ourselves the way God sees us, we cannot see our Sisters the way God sees them either." 

This spoke right to my heart. God has given me a lot of grace to be very self aware, but I have struggled to really see myself the way God sees me. Do you struggle with this? It is so easy to compare myself with others and tell myself I'm not as good at doing this or that and therefore I should not do it. I really struggled with this in writing. It took years for me to gain confidence to share my work with others and still struggle with letting people in. This is just one example as there are many in my life, but one of the ones that God has helped me in greatly the last couple of years.

"Comparing causes us to miss the best parts of ourselves and others."

How true this is. When I compare I find myself not wanting to act or judging so much that I feel like I am superior in some way. Both are sin and equally wrong. I want to see the best in my Sisters, not those things that I think are a problem or those things that cause me feel inferior. God has made us differently to work together and this is what we need. This is how we are the Body of Christ; every member functioning in her role.

So how do we do this? How do we stop the comparison trap? How do we see ourselves the way God sees us so that we can be ourselves and let our Sisters be themselves? 

Only by grace! We need Jesus. When we feel tempted to compare we need to pray and then pray some more. Pray that God would open our eyes to how He has made us. Pray that we would not sin by judging, falling into pride, coveting, etc. Pray to see others and ourselves through God's eyes. Pray for contentment. Pray that we would use our gifts and talents for God's Kingdom and glory and for the building up of the church.

How has the comparison trap caught you? How have you seen God work to break the comparison trap in your life?


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Isn't Your Church Sexually Repressive?

This is the next question in Sojourns "Questioning Jesus" series that Pastor Daniel covered looking at John 8:1-12.

I am thankful that Pastor Daniel started by telling us that God is pro sex. He is the One that created it as we see in Genesis 1:26-28 and 2:24-25. He designed it for the pleasure of married couples and to procreate. In Ephesians 5:30-32 we see that for Christians sex is far more than this and there is something mysterious that happens in sex and sexuality that we cannot fully comprehend.

John 8:1-12

But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 Early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people were coming to Him; and He sat down andbegan to teach them. 3 The scribes and the Pharisees *brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, 4 they *said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. 5 Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?” 6 They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. 7 But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court.10 Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” 11 She said, “No one, [a]Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”] 12 Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.”

Sexual Suppression  vv 1-6
Often times this comes from those that view the law as the end all be all, often times, legalists. Many people want to live the way they want to live and do not want to be in the light. So those that see the law as the end and follow it to the letter make them feel better. When we follow the law we feel as if we are in the position to judge. We put up rules and seek out those who break them so we can catch them and expose them.

Many Christians who are legalists have a lot of weird things going on sexually, because of how they view the law. When we see others in this sin we have a tendency to accuse or excuse. Which do you do?

Sexual Redemption vv 6-12
Jesus did not excuse and did not accuse, but He told the woman to leave her life of sin.
Jesus is the light and He exposes the darkness of sin. Psalm 90:8
We need to constantly be talking about sexuality in community, so that we can keep ourselves in the light. We need to stop acting like we have it all together. There is a problem in this world  and it begins with me.
Jesus says, "Neither do I condemn you". Jesus took our sin and shame and punishment on Himself. We need that to sink into our hearts and minds. We continuously grow in this and deal with our past. He takes our humiliating shame and turns it into liberating freedom.

Jesus brings redemption so that we can live as He created us.